That whirring sound you hear is Betty Friedan spinning in her grave
I’m fine with alternative lifestyles. No, I’m not talking about people who want to marry people of their own gender – as far as I’m concerned, that’s not an alternative, just a developmental norm of two humans falling in love and wanting to share a life. In this case, I’m referring to Seattle’s Mars Hill Church (and others like it), which preaches that it’s okay to be a member of secular society and enjoy popular culture so long as you strictly adhere to the Bible and its teachings. The largest ways in which this impacts their daily lives are the belief in strict gender roles and heavy procreation to fill the world with fundamentalist Christians. This means that men are the breadwinners and head of household while the women are subordinate and stay at home to take care of the children, bearing as many of said progeny as possible.* Rather than raise my ire (as fundamentalist views often do), I was intrigued by the ways in which this community was reconciling their beliefs and the realities of society.
That is, until I got to the last page of the article. Here lies a sad example of how a doctrine of love and inclusionism (at the cost of your right be an equal partner in your marriage) can lure the disenfranchised into thinking this is the only way to feel wanted. The woman interviewed says she didn’t want children and had a career she found exciting and rewarding. After attending services at Mars Hill and deciding to follow their teachings, she gave up her career and now has two young children (with presumably as many more as possible on the way). I genuinely felt sick upon reading this. Despite the church founder’s big talk about Jesus being edgy and confrontational, the Big Idea taught by Jesus is that God is love. He will love you no matter what as long as you are willing to turn to him. Instead of emphasizing the many ways to serve God (including through your career), this woman was indoctrinated with the idea that the only way to avoid the mistakes of other women in her life was to allow her husband to lead.
Proponents of the submissive doctrine point to Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.” I actually heard this echoed in my own place of worship last month, that even though it isn’t politically correct to make the man superordinate over the woman, it’s just a reflection of our relationship with Christ. Um…no. I voluntarily suborne myself to the Lord because I believe in his divinity. My husband, although he is a wonderful man and a caring, supportive partner, is not the Almighty. I am his equal partner – not his submissive follower. I think this church has forgotten the Bible also commands that “a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), two joined as one, not one appended to the other.
* Disclaimer: I don’t mean to imply that all stay at home mothers are subordinate. It’s a choice that all families must make after weighing their financial options and childrearing beliefs that can/should just as easily lead to the father staying at home with the children. However, the women of this church are expected to be both homemaker and “little woman.”
